Finding Time

Finding time to be a Software Engineer, Father, Husband, Friend — and whatever else I want (or need) to be

I started up my blog a few months ago. That week I had plenty of energy and must have been feeling somewhat “inspired”. But more importantly, I must have found myself with some spare time. Granted, this isn’t the fanciest blog around and it’s not too difficult to create a website with Hugo and Netlify — but these days, I’m finding myself with less and less time. So even doing that felt like an accomplishment.

Most days consist of the same routine:

  1. Wake myself up, wake my son up
  2. Make breakfast for George and have a coffee
  3. Work
  4. Finish work, make the tea
  5. Bath George
  6. Put George to bed
  7. Go to bed

Wash. Rinse. Repeat.

I said to my wife tonight, “I’ve wanted to play World of Warcraft all day today, but now I just can’t be bothered."

Truth be told, I feel like that most nights. Keeping my mind and body busy has always been important to me. When my day job finishes, I want to be doing something — whether that’s going out with the family, playing football, seeing friends, playing games, or working on personal projects.

But between work, raising a child under two, and being married to a full-time teacher, I just can’t find the time or energy.

For those who don’t know, I’m a Software Engineer at Centre Circle App. I love it there.

Having run my own business for 8 years from the age of 23 (or maybe 22 — I can’t really remember), working with a larger team of talented individuals is a breath of fresh air.

It has its challenges — I sometimes feel like I’m letting the side down. I don’t think it’s imposter syndrome. I’m well aware of my strengths and weaknesses. It’s the weaknesses I want to work on, which is why I want to take on side projects using a tech stack similar to what I use every day.

But when push comes to shove, I just can’t find the motivation.

When I do get going, I can’t seem to stop. Then comes the classic “Why didn’t I do this earlier?" feeling. It feels great. But like anything difficult, the hardest part is just starting.

More importantly — where can I find the time?

I’m a big YouTube watcher. I often see videos of people starting businesses and “side hustles” (I hate that phrase). I always think, “Yeah, I would love to do that."

But when it comes to doing it, I’m either too tired or too busy. There’s a reason most of those creators are young entrepreneurs living at home or on the road in a camper van — they don’t have commitments.

It’s strange — I know my limitations in work, sports, and life.

But when it comes to time, I struggle. I overestimate and underestimate what I can achieve at the same time. Maybe that’s part of adjusting to this new phase of life.

Husband and dad.

Who knows.